Letting Go (Baby Steps)

This past Wednesday morning at 9:30, I dropped Zachary off in the Loveland UMC parking lot with all of the LEAP kids from 3rd, 4th, and 5th grades.  They piled on a schoolbus, Mrs. Glasgow and a parent chaperone just behind in their own vehicles, and set off for Camp Kern.  This was to be Zachary's second trip to Camp Kern.  Last year, at about the same time and with similar wet but unseasonable warm and sunny weather, I was climbing on the bus to go along.

It felt just like the first day of Kindergarten.  I cannot describe the excited, yet lonely and empty feeling I drove away with.  I immediately called my friend Colleen, because I knew if I called Mom, I would wind up crying all over again.  In my head, I knew he would be just fine.  For one thing, he had done it before.  Camp wasn't brand new.  For another, I completely trust Mrs. G and know how well she knows Zachary. 

I had enjoyed camp so much the year before.  While there, I saw Zachary in his element.  Fitting in as he played games, solved riddles, and did all sorts of activities with the other kids in LEAP.  We even climbed ladders up a 6 story lookout tower at night!  And he did it.  These were kids that weren't that different from him.  It was beyond joy to watch that. 

So, as I drove away, I was not only missing my boy and worried about how he would handle being away for two nights.  I was also thinking about how much I wished I were going too.  I wasn't the only mom who felt that way.  Another mom who had gone along on the trip went up for lunch on Thursday and told me that it made her nostalgic for camp!

When the trip was in its planning stages, I told Zachary I thought it would be better for him to be able to enjoy camp without his mom along.  He reply was, "Mom, it's okay.  You wouldn't diminish my fun at all."  What a boy!

When I got home after dropping him off, I took advantage of the bright, but chilly day to take the dogs on a long walk.  There were rows of beautiful thin clouds high in the sky, but surrounding them was beautiful blue.  I took both dogs a couple of miles, but then left Josey at home and continued with Goober, trying to wear him out.  I wound up walking every street in the neighborhood, and including the backtracking for returning Josey home, probably walked 6-7 miles.  I have a feeling this was as much in solidarity with Zachary for all the walking he would be doing over the three days at camp as for my own or for the dogs' good.  (As I walked, I listened to a young adult novel by Sharon Draper, a former teacher at my high school.  I managed to listen to the entire book during the time Zachary was at camp.)

Wednesday afternoon, Jeremy and I hung out, playing the card game golf.  He went on to play video games, while I made pork loin and mash potatoes for dinner (something Zachary wouldn't have liked at all).  Through the evening, I couldn't help but wonder (often aloud) what Zachary was doing.  Tim quickly tired of these musings.  When Tim went to karate, we watched The Middle and an online episode of Alf (a current favorite, along with Gilligan's Island) together.  I was completely exhausted at the end of the day.  I even felt a little sick to my stomach - I wonder if that was for real, or a byproduct of my worry over how Zachary was doing.

Thursday morning, I distracted myself by volunteering in Jeremy's class.  I also had to pick Jeremy up at school to take him to karate.  I was extremely relieved to talk to the mom who went to lunch at camp that day.  She told me that everything was going well.  The rain Thursday morning was so light that it didn't slow them down at all.  They had been to the Ft. Ancient museum, done a pioneer cooking activity, and were starting a Native American role-playing activity when she left.  It was great just to hear a bit about what was going on and know that everyone was happy and busy.

Thursday evening, I went to our neighborhood Bunco group.  When I got home, Tim told me that Mrs. G had called.  I really thought he was kidding at first.  I guess Zachary had thrown up around 9:30 or so (I later learned that it was after the kids were all in bed).  Miraculously, he did it in the toilet (which almost never happens at home).  She felt it was probably from eating some junk food and all of the excitement.  Tim agreed (Z has an amazingly weak stomach), and though he offered to drive up and get him, she didn't feel it was necessary.  This, of course, reignited more worry for me.

The next morning, it took all of my resolve NOT to call and see how he was doing.  I know that I would've gotten a call if anything were amiss, so I tried hard not to worry.  I spent the morning cleaning and working on my Bible Study reading.  At 12:00, I headed over to the church parking lot to be there in time for the 12:30 pickup.  It turns out they were about a half hour late because of some confusion with the bus.  Zachary got off the bus smiling and happy!  Bit by bit through the afternoon I got some camp stories from him - about how they played "the game which must not be named," the activities that he did ("deep woods" and "wetland walk," whatever those are), that visiting the Ft. Ancient museum WITH HIS SHOES OFF was one of his favorite things, how he made ice cream and spiced apples at pioneer cooking, and about riding the tire zip line.  He also told me that they had shepard's pie for dinner one night, so he ate a salad instead, and that breakfast was omlettes 2 days in a row, so he picked fruit and yogurt.  He did like some of the food, including the hot dogs and meatball hoagies.

He actually took quite a lot of photos, many of the same thing!  Here is a sampling:

I expected him to be completely exhausted, but after a marathon wii session (making up for lost time, I guess) and a bit of TV, he went outside.  He kicked a soccer ball, played PIG with me, and played 2-square until it was time to come inside.